Part 21

A poet who hides in a book is a pussy. 

Before I landed I feared her scent. I prayed I'd fall in love with someone new before I sunk back in her arms. 

The smog on the streets, the lines on the road, the trees and their swing all smelled of her. 

I kept my distance because addictions are best kept on the other side of the world. 

I had become the master pretender. As long as there was an ocean between us I was safe. 

Far from home yet my heart lived in her castle. 

Carolina needed me near, if only to rake my heart. 

Never being a one woman man I slept nights with her and afternoons became revenge sex. 

Enough with these blank brush strokes. 

Carolina poisoned my heart. I would be hers or the sun would set on romance, sex would eclipse my life.  

Voyeur you that devour the veins that I scribe, enjoy my pain. Read on and I will bleed on. 

To be continued. 

mayúsculas

rehusó ser reo, me ahorcare ante tu guitarra para enviudar las cuerdas.

que la música de ayer mareé las gotas de mi cadáver. 

me trague las mayúsculas con el propósito de acentuar en tus ojos que me ahogaría por ti...

Part 20

You get a glimpse at your soul when you are selling it or buying it back. 

She wanted me to leave all my baited hooks and run to her beach. 

How much of me would I have to surrender to swim in her world. 

Knowing this I consciously began what would in time become routine. 

She would have a first class ticket waiting for me at the Iberia counter and eight hours later we were tangled in silk sheets across the Atlantic. 

She needed me and I had no idea what I needed, but her breast felt like home. 

Thirty year old me thirsted and she squeezed her almost fiftieth into the cup that runneth over. 

Her breast weren't engorged yet her nipples were on point. 

Sex always sex. 

She wouldn't cry anymore, if there was any weeping to be done it would be me.

She had inherited Pierre and I had inherited Carolina. 

Broken hearted me would suffer ambiguity, yet I knew the sun would rise. 

She had and I craved. 

I became her familiar in an unfamiliar place. 

She trophied me around to the strangers who ran her manor, just as proud as sometime ago I filled my mouth with the words "she is mine" only aware that now I was hers.   

I became Carolina's captive bird and Europe became my mistress. 

Playing the game long enough teaches you who you are to yourself and I wasn't a bird, I was now the hawk.

Fortune had recompensed her for the sterile environment yet I wasn't the offspring I was the troubled troubadour. 

Andorra, Barcelona, Tarragona would stitch their sisters to my sinister poems and Carolina would provide.

Not that they were all whores but we whored around. If you buy my poems and pay me with the warmth of your loins is it equitable?

Txaro had inked her body and I intended to lick it out of her. 

The dragon that adorned her dared me to have it come out and I made it come over and over. She hated me for it. 

To be continued. 

Part 19

The closest she ever came to saying she loved me, was "I'm in love with your mind."

I would have tattooed my last name to her arm pit, I would have strangled tomorrow for her. 

By now she had figured out, I was more than a young buck she jumped fences with. 

She knew I was the staircase that would climb to the moon for her kiss. 

I was the severe being that sweated words and swallowed sentences that ended in freedom. 

She caught me young, yet I turned her world upside down. 

In this eclipse I was her life line, she was Jane and needed me to be Tarzan.

She had broken my heart into chards and the only glue I knew was to love her. 

Her sweet words said "Poet I'm alone, I've been alone." 

Although I never uttered the words I said to myself "I held my heart in my hand for you to feast on and you paused."

Scarred people make the best friends their sutures embrace you.

If I ever wanted her coat to turn I should have swam in the pool of her patience, yet my youth got in the way. 

I was a means to an end. Her day to day expired and she remembered how sweet it was to swim with a bohemian. 

She thought my serpentine would unravel at the smell of her breath as she bit her inner lip. 

My serpentine unraveled when I didn't have the courage to kidnap her from her life and make me her slave. 

To be continued. 

Part 18

I wait for my flight to Barcelona in the Admiral's Club while icebergs disappear into my Scotch. I remember those early days with bitter sweet melancholy. 

I remember the fights they had and how her dead sea tears ran mascara down her face.

She didn't belong to me, yet I belonged to her. 

Her agony and his disgusting bullying of my ballerina, echoed in me a thunderous voice that said "have no one ever under your thumb."

The movie that played out in front of me felt like a how to be miserable documentary. And I scooped it up. 

These quarrels cemented my resolve to never be in such, I swore this to myself. 

She wanted security from him and he wanted youth from her. This was an equitable exchange. It reeked of garbage to me. 

They were both miserable because love never showed up. 

Water turned into wine, tears into piss and blood into vile. Years would pass and this dog and pony show seemed to have no end. 

I still remember the words she used to describe his demise. "He is gone I'm free."

By this time I had moved on from Carolina. We would casually see each other, sex, just sex. 

I couldn't feel the elation that she wanted me to feel, I felt sorry for her. A decade had escaped her, like a fist full of sand thrown at the wind. 

My heroine was a sidekick not the superhero I had admired. 

I felt sorry for her, her indecision beat a decade out of her. 

I was bitter that she hadn't run away with me. Maybe it wasn't her lack of love for me but rather the web she had spun for herself. 

Either way I was now a different cat with the same tail, but a different cat. 

Carolina was the iceberg that while not sinking my ship had given me a close enough shave as to have startled the boy out of me. 

She brought out a cold hearted sweet talking stalker of flesh that would shield his heart. 

A poet falls in love once and never again. This was my curse. And I had her to thank. 

Yet her voice bypassed my ears and went straight to my heart it caused an earthquake in me. 

"I'm free she said."

My heart wanted to race to her but my self preservation said "sit doggy, sit."

To be continued. 

Part 17

These were the happiest days of my life. On Sundays we would role play, this was us at our most intimate. 

We had a few haunts that we would hunt along, the intercostal or on the beach itself. 

These brunch bars knew our routine but the unsuspecting newbies didn't. She would set herself up with a mimosa in her most provocative beach attire that would never taste sea salt. 

We had the timing down to a science. 

I would walk in, sit for a bit on my own and admire her from a distance. As she was being hit upon by the wind swept gentry. 

As her pretenders interest peaked, I would send her a drink and watch the hunters swallow their pride. 

She would acknowledge me with a glance over her Parasol sunglasses and I would tip my drink at her. 

Knowing her juices were following and the gallants abated, I would secure my position close enough to strangle her with a kiss. 

I would hold her breath with my lips sealed to hers till she dug her nails in me. 

Stacy the bar tender would look at us with a ghastly sigh of disapproval and remark "You guys are horrible."

We would chuckle. Carolina would take care of the bill and I would escort her to her Benz. 

Silver Sands was as old Key Biscayne on the water as you could get. This was a sleepy one level Terrazzo floor, kitchenette type hotel, that should have been a motel. But it was a discrete as confessing. 

We had our own room on stand by, room 141 was our love nest. It had a fridge, wall A/C and white kitchen cabinets. It was painted with impunity. 

I hated her tears on my chest, just as much as I hated Mondays without her. 

Pierre filled his mouth with the exploits he would have, accompanied by my mistress, to such places like Velvet or Trapeze. These being swingers clubs the kind no one in Miami admits to visiting unless under indictment. 

She spared me from this seedy side and I spared her by never letting on that I knew. 

It repulsed me that my heart was dragged like a dog to a dog fight. Helpless to this demon who's well had dried up. 

His perversion carried my Carolina and I fumed. 

To be continued. 

Part 16

Pierre had been a blue blood wannabe from the old world. He had an air of aristocracy and an inheritance so vast that he feared heirs so he had none. 

He thought himself so smart that he ended up outsmarting himself out of a legacy. Their would be no footprints following Pierre's. 

Carolina suffered every minute of her fertile youth in silence. Only after our Cirque Du Soleil sex sessions fueled by Tito's Vodka would she breakout into an inconsolable river of tears. 

All I could do was hold her and stroke her hair and gently ask her to run away with me. She never said no but we never left. 

The routine of this always left me drunk with sadness. 

She felt caged, her indiscretions with me were but breaths of fresh air into her stale life. 

She would drill these words into me; "Poet don't ever fall in love, love them and leave them."

"Be guarded Poet screw them but don't get screwed by your sensibilities."

If I could bring the moon down for her I would have, yet I felt so helpless. 

In those tender days she was my only refuge and I hers. 

Hers were the only other set of eyes my young poems would be seen by. She was the only one I would bare my naked soul to. 

She encouraged me to leave the nightclub life and pursue my writing. 

Early on she was the wind at my back. 

With her tutelage sex was the schooling I excelled at. She taught me technics that to this day titillate the twisted trysts that trust their flesh to this savage.

I was her disciple. Our time together were short bursts that many never experience in two lifetimes. 

I was the side beef, this is how I spent my early twenties. 

To be continued. 

Part 15

Her refined features tell a tale of beauty. Soft pearl skin contrasting her jet black mane, flowing over her shoulders inviting to follow her curves. 

Deliberate words reflecting self possession escape her lips beckoning regal admiration. 

Carolina was queen of my Nile. 

Since her first touch I've never felt another woman as I've felt her. 

We were introduced by destiny as all great encounters are. 

I can't remember who started the conversation but halfway through it I found myself having an outer body experience. I felt warm all over, my feet were hovering a few millimeters from the ground. 

Cupid had struck me across the chest, I was in love.  

Love is the elusive luster that shines in the eyes of those that crave and I craved her. 

The trouble with this torrid affair was transparent to the two of us as quickly as it began. 

I was a nineteen year old bouncer working for Mr. Pierre at Club 1235. The club was an oversized venue in the heart of South Beach, it stayed half empty most of the time. It was in need of a new smell, everything there was old including Mr. Pierre. He was north of seventy and had this half dead club almost as his personal party. 

None of that matter much to me except that Carolina was Mr. Pierre's latest trophy wife. 

I wonder less now in my grey wolf years but did for so long. Was our passion organic or was Carolina bringing to our sex life the rage she felt towards the old man? Was I the latest cock in this cock fight?

Every nook and cranny of this yesterday club had been penetrated by Carolina and yours truly's passion. 

I questioned myself: was I into her or was the depravity of screwing another's    wife twisting me. 

Whatever fuel we brought to the fire scorched our bodies. 

Carolina had her thirty eighth birthday a few months before and I wouldn't turn twenty till January. 

Every vampire has a maker and Carolina sucked the boy out of me and spit me out a man. 

Ours became more than a carnal affair. 

These were the go go days of the made for tv Miami and being a prolific club owner had its perks and its poison. 

When Pierre took his eye off her and onto the next trophy Carolina leaned on the poison till her ship almost went of kilter. 

I was heavily invested in her to let her drift away, she became my cause. 

I became her wolf at the door. 

To be continued. 

Part 14

"Poet if I we didn't have the history that we do I wouldn't be able to see through the curtain of your words, yet I do."

"I don't know about the harem or the baker's dozen, but I know you mean well. Thank you Poet for lending me your ear."

"Anytime Mario, just be cool, waves will come at you and you can't let them erode your beach."

The coffee had gotten cold, the bagels stale and I had a date with Jessica that evening. 

When we parted, I felt I had done right by my friend. 

Walked out of this bagel joint smelling of lox and capers and Susy was a distant memory, I had Jessica cravings. 

She was the almond eyed auburn hair temptation that had tempted me of late. 

Jessica was an uncomplicated to the point kind of river that never seized to run. 

As soon as I sat in the seat of my Über drivers car I glued my head phones to my skull and wicked designs on how to run Jessica over and over appeared in my mind. 

Got to her place in Merrick Park a new swanky uproot that had laid claim to the effervescent trend setters of the day. 

She opened the door wearing only her smile and smelling of daisies, looking like every hunger pain I'd ever had would be filled. 

The French background noise serenaded me into silence. I kissed her and tugged at her strands letting myself be felt. 

Her bed bounced on the hardwood floor till it ended on the opposite side of the room. Her eyes would stare into mine looking for my soul as her river ran. 

The devil lives inside all of us and mine had come out to play with Jess. 

Her fair skin turned crimson and her hair tangled in a hot mess. 

Dinner was next. 

Bocce Bar was the latest incarnation of my culinary exploits. 

Dinner went without a hitch we were both in need of red blood cells. 

Between dessert and the Limoncello the evening got sticky. 

She batted her gorgeous eyes at my armor and I melted as her sweet lips said due over next Friday Poet. 

I skirted responding with a smile and a kiss that left my lips aware that it wasn't in the cards. 

I was yearning for European short hair confused kind of girls and away I would go.

To be continued. 

Part 13

He stared at me as if I had three heads for what felt like an eternity. Then with a slight stutter he shouted; "Multiply the bounty! What the hell does that mean? Get of your Shakespeare trip and plain Jane it to me Poet."

Being an expert on other peoples lives is detestable. I hate it when it's directed at me and now I found myself expert on Mario's affairs. I was having a moral crisis about it but I also had Pulitzer fever. 

I began to break it down for Mario. 

"You are a pillar of the community, you've spent twenty five years depositing in the bank of good will. You've raised a family. You've filled your parents with pride. You are in love with Silvia and her sun raises and sets with your smile."

"You've been working to long in the coal mines. The lack of fresh air has clouded your judgement."

"Don't let the bullseye on your back take charge of your game." 

"What bullseye are you talking about? Stop with the metaphors Poet, speak english god damn it."

"I don't intend to pump your ego but theses are the facts. You are a successful entrepreneur, you've maintained a stable environment for a quarter century. And your not bad to look at."

"A quarter of the the population of Miami is divorced and the ratio of woman from Venus to men from Mars is thirty to one. Look around at the darlings that surround you these peaches aren't plumb."

"Your new to the flesh game my friend and I've grown in it."

Here is where I sold my soul for the story. 

"Listen I've seen the likes of you crash and burn at the site of a new pair of tits. I've seen a great many Chiefs burn their teepee and poison their tribes well for a fling."

"If you want to have your cake and eat it to then your going to have be deliberate about it."

"First of all Maria and Rubia won't be enough. For a proper harem you need a baker's dozen or thereabouts."

"Building a circuit and doing the rounds is the only effective way to maintain the ship of your emotions sailing smoothly."

"Mario If you become exclusive with any one of these ballerinas your ship will flounder."

Take note reader I'm not inducing Mario to break his vows. He on his own had seduced or been seduced by Maria and Rubia to date. 

Although somewhat self serving I'm trying to lay some ground rules so that Mario doesn't self destruct and with him my dreams. 

My aim was to steer the demon that comes out to play at the site of flesh into pages. 

To be continued. 

Part 12

 

"Poet I don't understand this world. I thought I had it all nailed down and now this storm blows in."

"How could he? How could he be good with a stranger touching her? How could he live with other prints on her flesh?"

"How does he kiss her knowing those lips have swam in other pools? How does he sleep in that bed?"

"How does he run his fingers through her hair knowing someone else was tugging at her scalp?"

"How could she just be flesh?"

"Hold on Hoss where do you get of being Mr Judgmental, aren't you sleeping around on Silvia? Aren't you letting others swim in your pool and letting their nails claw your back?"

"Come down from that high horse Lone Ranger, just cause you don't practice these carnal arts doesn't mean they are a capital sin, besides who knows who let the stranger in first?"

The task of landing this 747 without a runway was in my poetic hands and I had to be both, kind to my friend and true to the the readers that one day would judge.

Luckily we where in the booth in the back near the bathrooms because Mario was animated.

I had to bring him down from the ledge, without trashing his ego.

He wouldn't let me begin, he machine gunned down my attempt Cuban style, he saw me catch my breath to speak and ensued.

"I need to move from this hell, I need distance from these heathens, I need to repent and be absolved."

"I'll sell my house, that's it I'll leave this prodigious swamp."

" What's that guys name, the one that was married to that realtor you are seeing, I see his face all over, what's his name?"

"Rancid Rufus you mean, he's just a jockey without a horse."

 "Don't be a dick just cause you are screwing his filly, he's moved on to greener pastures I'm sure."

White gloves come off " Listen to me you white bread motherfucker I don't give a shit about Rufus. And Susy will just get me over the holidays, her replacement is blowing out her thirties candle."

"You need a reality check you hadn't crossed these blurred lines before and now you are freaking out."

"You came to me, why did you come to me Mario? I've got nothing for you."

"Did you think I live the gutter ball life. Did you think because I don't have a made for TV relationship I would listen quietly to your emasculated existence."

"Fuck the fuck out of you Mario."

"You crossed into enemy lines and now you want reprieve, well it's not going to happen." 

"You came to me cause to you I'm a player. You came to me because I drown them and myself in my bullshit words."

"As difficult as it might be for you to accept I'm an honorable man, I tell no tales that don't want to be heard." 

"Don't be a chomp Mario, better yet I won't let you be. I'm going to prescribe you a poetic remedy."

"I suspect you knew all along I wouldn't leave you hanging."

"I love you brother but I'm getting old for indirect people. Anyhow here goes my eleventh grade education prescription for the scholarly kind such as you."

"I would not run and look for shelter. I would multiply the bounty that bares. Maria is on the wings and Rubia has rubbed your rosy cheeks red."

"Romance one and she will steal your heart. Lend your self to the art of love amongst a half dozen and immunity is yours."

"To be man is to swallow the night and with it its fright."

To be continued.

Part 11

 

"As quiet as a church mouse I put my pants on grabbed my shirt and shoes and split from this twilight zone."

"I hobbled to the end of the driveway, made a bee line for the golf course. I didn't want to get spotted by my neighbors."

"Picture me coming out of Blanco and Rubia's house shirtless, shoes in my hand and looking like Beetle Juice."

"The sprinklers came on half way home, this was now a mine field."

"I threw my shirt into the garbage can near the eighth hole. Walked close to the trees in my yard as not to be seen by the security cameras."

"The field goal was in sight, we always kept the side garage door unlocked and that was a blessing because my house keys where in the 911."

"Got in and bolted for the laundry room, stuck my sin drenched rags in the hamper. Naked and nervous I found refuge in the warm shower. I would wash the stench of this torrid transaction."

"Got in bed and snuggled up to Silvia as if our proximity meant that all was well with the world, yet It wasn't."

"The expelled adrenaline on the nights escapade made me sleep like a dagger buried in the sand."

"And tomorrow would be tomorrow."

"Waking up was wonderful. Silvia and I made love and halfway through it I stared having flashbacks to the, 

"I'm going to make some coffee do you guys want?" situation and I broke into a cold sweat." 

"Silvia picked up on the clamminess of my iceberg, I could tell. Being an astute woman she reserved her questions for a more opportunistic moment, as all wise wives do."

"I jumped back in the shower as if this vessel could transport my cat with a canary in mouth attitude to a galaxy far far away." 

To be continued.